So you know the younger guy I mentioned last post?
I am not sure what to call him. Let us say his name is Leonard because that’s not his name. Also he is like a year younger than me.
How do I describe him? Probably like a billionth generation Canadian (not First Nations or Inuit though) from a very white Ontario town and obscenely rich. Some girls would think I just won the dating lottery or something.
He is kinda more into me than I am into him. I think he mistook me for one of those hardcore expressive females that are all over guys. It’s not like I am not expressive, but most of the time I am just contently apathetic.
Despite the fact I have known him for like week, he has no problem at all suggesting we go all the way after what I could call our first actually physically intimate half an hour (i.e. cuddling/kissing). I mean, I barely felt anything emotionally but he is getting quite intense quite soon. I am very indifferent to that. I’m not sure how to deal with his emotions, when he thinks I am just as emotionally attached to him as he is to me. I don’t feel apologetic for what could be interpreted as the hollowness inside of me.
I’m not gonna go on a whining rant about how I can never meet a guy who can really resonate with me emotionally because it’s not a necessity in my life. I am perfectly content doing quantum calculations for biological systems. I’ve never been so sure, so level-headed about this whole singlehood thing in a very long time. Fuck! I am complete on my own and that’s that!
What am I to do with this whole business? I’m probably gonna let Leonard chase me if he wants to, if not that’s cool too. I just enjoy the cuddling and the kissing. He might think there is something real there, but for me this is totally no-strings-attached.
In other news, I am turning 20 next week!
