Yesterday, along with many esteemed colleagues across Canada, I went through the Ritual of the Calling of the Engineer. I am currently just mellowing after after a night of drunken revelries. I might have referred to my really intense university program a few times before, but never have I made explicit the extent of my nerdiness. Well there you go. So if any of you readers have questions in either basic or advanced physical and mathematical sciences, feel free to drop me a line. I have an obligation to mentor, you see.
As much as I hate to admit it, for both a lot of girls and boys, especially in their late teens and early twenties, the whole finding a boyfriend/girlfriend/hookup thing becomes so constitutive of what we are supposed to do in that part of our lives, we often neglect our inner true selves, despite all the richness and joy it can provide. This leads to a necessary, albeit seemingly ceaseless cycle, of monotony and feelings of hopelessness, also known as prolonged teenage angst or quarter life crisis, that can cause bouts of low self-esteem when unchecked. Every now and then, it is important for everyone to take some time out and try to grasp the extent of ourselves.
From now, till the end of graduation, I think I will focus more on my interests than usual. I have looked to a lot of inebriated tomfoolery as stress release from my daily drudgery, but I think it’s time to look inward for a few more weeks, true to my introverted self – read books, research music history, and just spend on hours on wikipedia studying the Voynich Manuscript, epistemology and Russian literature, as I rightly should have put aside ample time to do beforehand.
I don’t if it is just me, but I have noticed a trend among the fellow virgins/boyfriendless ladies of being particularly coy. It’s really time to cut it out. Not because I’ve been there and done that, and it was somewhat successful, but because you really got nothing to lose.
Don’t trust my opinion? Here’s an article from College Candy to back me up:
Get off the sidelines and play the dating game.
No matter where you are in your lives, I think taking risks, not only in relationships, but elsewhere in life, is crucial.
Here’s a time Sigur Ros video to inspire y’all.
Wow, I never would have thought engineering but good for you. Congratulations!
As for being coy, I’m probably the coyest one out there when it comes to men. I will be very friendly and very flirty but I can’t ever get to the point where I actually express that I’m interested because every time I do, things don’t work out (and by “every time I do”, I’m talking about the one time I kind of did and that was last weekend). Besides that, although I’m in bars all the time, I feel as if meeting a guy in a bar isn’t legit and all the body language signals screw me up a little. I’d much rather meet someone through friends… and that’s happened once (refer to last weekend).
Of course you’re right, I should be proactive when it comes to talking to guys. It’s too bad that I wasn’t born with that innate sense of reading the opposite sex. Really though, where does that start and where does it end? It feels damn exhausting and if a guy who I think is cute doesn’t look at me twice, my confidence rating drops by 4 points. So at any given point, my confidence sits at -12 when it wasn’t that high to begin with (you’re the math pro, you can figure that one out).
I know it’s all bullshit. I’m not secure enough with myself. I’m scared of rejection etc etc so I’m going to go ahead and say that article doesn’t know what it’s talking about, you have no clue either and that I’ve tried etc etc and now I’m going to go make myself a salad.
Good luck with looking inwards for the next few weeks. I should really be doing the same- I always feel like I’m in school panic mode so I don’t have time… and then I go ahead and spend my life reading blogs.