So I did it…

Just because I could, I signed up for an online dating service.

It was pretty random, I am not expecting much from it. It’s just going to be like any other social networking site for me, except I am not gonna know the people, and overall I am going to have a passive approach to the whole thing. I like how it allows me to look at guys without getting emotionally attached to them and if there is no mutual interest, it’s not too bad.

At first, I was brave enough to put my picture up, but then I got unwanted interest from older guys. I politely said they were too old for me, but some kept insisting, and this one messaged me his address and told me to drop by anytime for sex…not exactly what I was looking for.

I removed my picture.

After having done that, I find the type of guys that approached me or returned interest in me were more my type and not creepy and much older looking to get laid.

I haven’t talked to anyone that I am totally looking forward to meeting and I don’t expect to. There has been about two guys I share many interests with. One I thought was way out of my league, but I approached him anyway and responded positively and even asked me to come to this event with me. I couldn’t go, but we still talked and seem to get along just fine.

I haven’t told anyone my real name yet, or we just haven’t discussed that topic about names. This might not seem like a big deal but trust me it is. That’s because only 3 people (including myself) have my name on Facebook, and there is not a single soul in the United Kingdom (I found this through www.yournotme.com) that has my name. So if I were to tell them my name, it would be pretty easy for them to find out stuff about me. While I have been told that I have a unique and sexy name, it’s time like this I wish I had a more common name like Julia or Mary or Catherine.

I’m still not sure how to take the issue of my friends finding out. However, since it is not time yet to deal with that, I have just put it in the back of my head. When the time comes to deal with it, if the time comes for me to deal with it (i.e. I found someone online and have to tell my friends), I will see what I will do.

Wish me luck!

Postscript: I just found a pattern in all the men I have liked in real life. They are Caucasian males from very small towns that are in grad school. Weird huh?

Some observations…and the Poet

I’m finding at the increasing rate that I get along and feel a connection with guys in their in their mid-twenties (i.e. 23-26) way more than I do with guys my own age (I’m almost 19).

I am not quite ready yet to share the details as to how this observation came about, but for now I am trying to ponder why that is. A friend suggested to me that I am an old soul. Pretty accurate, I have to say.

There is a weird sense of hope in the air. I can’t explain it. I am not the type to believe that things happen the way they are for the greater good, just because I am too cynical for all that, but somehow I feel something good is just around the corner.

I have been feeling pretty content for the last month. Even though some occurences have caused my spirits to sink, I have picked myself right back up and I just felt quite naturally that something good will happen.

I have joined some extracurriculars in the new school year which I wasn’t involved with before. I am amazed at how sociable I have become since high school and how readily I can lead people, without being a bitch or intimidating.

I have been getting unexpected compliments about my looks. It makes me happy, yet I haven’t changed my looks in the last year.

I am planning to discuss more about ideas rather than just myself in this blog. Ideas that have influenced me and shaped me as a person. This blog is not just about my personal life, but also my boredom, which despite the weird stuff I have to live through still persists.

Boredom has become a way of life for me. I almost feel an endearing connection to large chunks of time that I have when I have finished all school work in advance and have nothing to do since all my friends are behind and I have no one but myself to entertain me.

It’s not really boredom anymore. It’s a path of self-discovery.

I love my alone time. I love leading my life alone at the moment. It’s not lonely. It’s quite a blissful solitude. I have gotten in touch with my creative side once again and have found some people to share it with.

This is where I realize that I cannot just digress away from the fact that my ideas are not rootless entities floating in space. They are inherently connected to my experiences and the people I meet.

I have only gotten to know and had the pleasure of the Poet’s company for an hour, so until I get to know more about him, I will not make any hasty judgements on his nature and what I think/feel about him.

Wish me some good karma. I feel amazing, but I wouldn’t mind sharing my solitude with someone would I now.