Virgin fetish? Honestly?

I’m almost about to lose my virginity here. Let’s pray that I don’t.

Guy I met online, but haven’t met in real life wants to pop my cherry and teach me details about carnal knowledge almost in a style a la Virgin School. No he is not an old fart, he is actually sort of my ideal man, kind of really into casual sex. I hate my luck.

He is damn well-educated smarty pants, clean-cut yet quirky type of guy, let’s call him Ideal man just to be ironic. He has his romantic ideas, but he is focusing on getting into my pants, stat. He likes that I am a poor tomboyish virgin.

I mean, I am flattered that I am desired, I just wish it manifested itself in a different form.

Sex is really important to this guy, he let me know that, but he had this intrigue and the ability to hold a real conversation that kept me interested. I feel stupid saying this now, but I thought he would have a change of heart and take the relationships route.

Sometimes, I just sit and wonder. Why do I attract these types? I am a very demure person and don’t shove my sexuality down other people’s face. I am modest and friendly. When did that become a fetish?

I just want someone who understands the lack of sexual experience in me but doesn’t seek to change it so that I become a megaslut. I don’t understand why people are so into sex sometimes if they don’t seek a real relationship with the person. I mean I always have my right hand.

Hormones, god damn it

I have no shame in saying this, but I am one sexually curious girl. I am still a virgin, and I barely have any experience. At the same time, I am very comfortable with my …uh libido. I’m a teenager, what do you expect?

In a way, I am a lot like guys I guess. I am a visual creature, and often find myself aroused at random times.

I’ve had many interesting conversations with boys and girls alike about this. I am totally comfortable when boys talk about pornography in its various forms. I even contribute sometimes. My exposure to porn has been limited to clicking pop-ups accidentally and seeing something I didn’t want to see. It’s mostly disgusting and there doesn’t seem to be a real relationships between the actors (well, because there aren’t) and I am not a fan of sex that is so impersonal. Furthermore, I find male pornstars quite fugly.

The type of guys that I am attracted to are really quite simple, even dorky. I mean I could definitely go without the comic books and the pocket protectors, but a preppy, geek is definitely my style. Like Ezra Koenig and Chris Tomson of the band Vampire Weekend. I am also way more turned on by skinny lanky guys than most buff guys. That being said, I have been recently getting more attention from jocks of different kinds, than from nice cute dorks. There have been some though, who have traits from both types. Like the aforementioned rambler, who had the somewhat muscular build, but had the absolutely geeky/dorky/simple boy mentality. Sigh. I still yearn for him. Too bad he was in a position of authority over me/I didn’t have the balls to ask him out/I don’t know anymore.

I have completely gotten over what happened with the blonde kid the other day. Meh.